i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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