Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
