How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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