Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
