Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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