Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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