Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
There's always time for handjobs
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You pole danced in your parka.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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