woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
then he tried to convert me to islam
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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