why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
