I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
