I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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