i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
