Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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