i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
