Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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