My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
