It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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