I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
