After last night, I could never be a politician.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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