No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's shark week go big or go home
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
