for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
