Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
