hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
