I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
