I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just want to make out with him forever
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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