Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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