When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
