I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I touched a dick in church today
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
