chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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