Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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