I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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