she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
