i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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