He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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