wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
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