i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
