let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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