You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
