Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
