In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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