"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
