My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
