My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
It's just like the Real World with babies
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
