Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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