the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
My vagina is very pro this idea
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
