I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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