Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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