i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
