i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
