I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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