They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
